Whether you understand it or not, your self-talk, positive or negative, impacts everything you do. It affects the way you live your life, the things you believe in and how you operate in your business. As female entrepreneurs, negative self-talk is especially dangerous because we often become consumed by our own thoughts. In this post, learn how to reframe your negative self-talk into positive self-talk and radically improve your business.
“It’s time to turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place.”
How To Change Your Self-Talk
What is self-talk and why is it important?
Our self-talk is that ongoing, sometimes unconscious conversation, in our heads. It’s there when we wake up in the morning and is still very present as we go to sleep each night.
The way we speak to ourselves as female entrepreneurs affects how we feel about the roles we have in our business and how we behave around investors, clients and our peers.
At the end of the day, we have complete control over our self-talk and if we allow it to go unchecked, it will form the script for our future success or failure.
When we continuously feed our minds with negative thoughts and affirmations then our lives become consumed with negativity and this itself consumes everything.
How negative self-talk affects your performance
Most coaches and psychologists will not deny that self-talk is powerful. They will also tell you that negative thoughts and beliefs, though you might not be aware, can have unintended consequences.
Imagine that you’ve spent your entire life telling yourself that you downright suck at communication.
You’ve tried a few things that never quite worked out so you’re convinced you’ll never master it. A large portion of your business involves you having to properly communicate the value your business provides for your target audience.
So what do you think will happen?
Because you’ve programmed that block into your subconscious mind it’s going to be very difficult to change this (although it’s not impossible to reprogram your beliefs and that’s something I speak more about HERE).
I cannot say it enough that there is an undeniable link between what you say to yourself and the things you are capable/incapable of accomplishing in your business.
The words we use are very important and we have to be aware of this at all times.
But how do we reframe our negative self-talk so that we can improve our business performance?
Related: How to use the power of your subconscious mind to succeed
How to reframe your mindset and elevate your business
1 Identify your negative thoughts
Struggling with negative beliefs can be a difficult experience, especially if these thoughts have become automatic. Taking some time to sit and try to recognize what these negative/limiting beliefs are will help you to change them.
What if your business partner or accountant were to call you and tell you that they need to speak with you? Would you say that the first thought that comes to mind is positive or negative?
Do you automatically assume that your business is in trouble?
A great way to find these negative thoughts is to journal. Keep an ongoing record of every thought or belief you have each day. Soon you’ll start to recognize a pattern.
Everything you attract into your life is a reflection of the story you believe and keep telling yourself. Click To Tweet
2 Identify your triggers
Once you’ve uncovered the pattern that your thoughts tend to follow, you will also begin to see triggers. Realizing the experiences/situations that influence your self-talk is an equally important part of the process.
The beliefs we hold are often tied to events that happened in our past and when we are placed in similar environments, our emotional responses are triggered.
Think about it for a minute. When you were little you might have had grand dreams of you becoming a princess or a superhero. A well-meaning parent or adult might have heard your fantasies or seen you playing dress up and told you that you’ll never be able to do that.
They also may have encouraged you to dream smaller or to think more realistically. Now as an entrepreneur, whenever you’re given the opportunity to go big in your business and chase monumental goals, the negative thoughts/feelings resurface.
You were conditioned to dream small and now it’s become a part of you.
Dig a little deeper and you’ll be able to find the events that trigger the negative self-talk. Once you’ve identified the triggers then write them down.
3 Separate yourself from your inner critic
Each time your negative self-talk kicks in that is the critic inside you. The important thing is to remember that this inner critic is not you.
It is very possible to stand up against this critic and show it exactly who’s boss. The more you feed your negative thoughts and feelings the stronger the critic becomes.
We weren’t born with this critic and we can separate ourselves from it by giving it a name. Let’s call our inner critic “Megatron” for the heck of it (for those who don’t get it, yes this is the villain from Transformers).
Separating ourselves from “Megatron” allows you to realize that you are not your critic and that this critic is most definitely not you.
4 Challenge Your Thoughts
Challenging your negative thoughts can sound more difficult than it actually is. An easy way to do this is to start questioning these limiting beliefs when they rear their ugly heads.
Ask yourself, “why did this thought pop into my head?”, and “could these thoughts be a lie?”.
Once we start fighting back against these kinds of thoughts taking place in our heads we poke holes in the stories we’ve told ourselves.
We also realize that we don’t have to feel this way and we shouldn’t believe in everything we think.
Related: How to master your mindset and overcome limiting beliefs
5 Change the way you think
There’s a powerful exercise I use with my clients to help them reframe their thoughts. I call it “Unleashing The Truth”.
In every bit of negative self-talk we engage in, there is a subtle change that we can make in order to flip the script. The exercise is simple but powerful.
On a blank piece of paper write down (in pencil) all of the negative thoughts you have about yourself and your business. Examples of these thoughts could be:
- “I am unqualified to run this business.”
- “I will never be able to succeed in what I am doing.”
- “I am just not cut out to be an entrepreneur.”
Write down as any limiting, negative thoughts as possible. As you write, skip four lines (or spaces) between each.
Once you’ve written down all your thoughts, it’s time to write the truth. Using a pen, write positive versions of the thoughts you previously noted.
Using the above examples, here is what I would write:
- “I am more than qualified to run my business.”
- “I am already successful and will become even more successful the more I try.”
- “I have all the skills I need to be a wildly successful female entrepreneur and I will continuously improve my skills so I can become the best version of myself.”
Once you’ve completed the writing process, it’s time to work. Every day, for seven days, read the first negative thought you’ve written. Immediately afterwards, read the positive thought below it.
Keep going until you’ve read through the entire list. At the end of the week, erase the negative thoughts. (This is why you wrote them in pencil).
For the next 14 days, read the list out-loud, while standing (or sitting) before a mirror. It takes about 21 days for you to develop new thoughts.
You’ll soon start to realize that the automatic negative thoughts that used to pop into your head have now been replaced with newer, more positive self-talk.
You need to be your own cheer squad, not your own worst enemy. Click To Tweet
Positive self-talk changes the game
When your self-talk becomes positive and uplifting it absolutely changes the game for you and your business. The saying “mind over matter” is a powerful statement.
Your mind is incredibly powerful and when you feed it with “I can”, and “I will” statements, they will lead you in a positive direction and you can only go up from there.
Positive self-talk will motivate you and keep you going in a way that allows you to do amazing things. When you reframe your negative self-talk into positive, edifying self-talk you will radically improve your life and your business.
Are you ready to upgrade your self-talk and your business?