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Have you ever met someone whose level of confidence rubbed you the wrong way? It’s like they went from being powerful and confident in themselves to becoming arrogant, cocky and unbearable.

Self-confidence and arrogance are two completely different things. Confidence is a strength that comes from within yourself because you know who you are and all that you are capable of.

Arrogance, on the other hand, is an attitude of disrespect, where you constantly step on others to make yourself feel good. Being confident is a powerful trait (and a necessary one) but how do we keep ourselves from becoming someone with too big of an ego?

In this post, I’m teaching you a few practical ways to help you be self-confident in yourself without being cocky and arrogant.

How To Be Self-Confident Without Being Cocky


1 Be Humble About It

There is a fine line between knowing who you are and what you can do, and flaunting it for the world to see. As a person, there will always be some form of battle going on inside because a part of us wants to be arrogant.

A part of us wants to show off and show the world just how amazing we are. But when you’re tempted to be arrogant, respond instead with humility.

It’s okay to accept praise and support from those around you but don’t do it in a way where you’re acknowledging a fact that you already know.

For example, if you’re called upon in a meeting or an event to introduce yourself, it’s perfectly fine to do so. Don’t however, spend the entire time listing out all your numerous qualifications, skills and knowledge. This is unnecessary.

Real confidence isn’t the loudest person in the room yelling “Look at me!” all the time. Being truly confident means that you can sell yourself when you need to and be quiet and allow other people to have their own spotlight if they need to.


2 Be Vulnerable

A few weeks ago, I did an interview with Antihustle Nation (which you can check out here). In that podcast interview, I spoke about vulnerability and how being vulnerable with the people you want to connect with actually takes real confidence.

When you’re an arrogant person with a big ego this often means that you have many insecurities. Because of the things you’re insecure about, you spend your entire life building extremely tall walls to try to keep others out so they won’t see your mess.

I’m here to encourage you to be confident in your mess. Be comfortable with the fact that you don’t have your entire life put together all the time. And be proud of who you really are.

Some of the best fun I’ve had doing facebook lives are those times when I’m messing up my lines and goofing off because it shows that I’m a real person. I have flaws and quirks just like everyone else and that’s great.

At the end of the day, people don’t buy from perfection, they buy from real people who have the answers they need for the problems they have.


3 Stop Trying To Be The Best

Every one of us (or many of us; let’s not overstate things) wants to be the best. We want to be the best on the team, the best coach in the biz and the best in our department.

Somewhere, in the midst of trying to be the best, we become overly competitive big-headed people with little to say (or maybe that’s just me, lol).

When you are confident in who you are as a person you really don’t need to be the best at everything. You are well aware of the fact that you can sing like Whitney Houston or that you have the ability to sell a bathtub to a cat.

There is absolutely no need to prove anything to anyone else.

Many of the people who want to be the best in every single thing they can get their hands on have something they need to prove. Often times they don’t believe in themselves enough so they make up for this with a need to show the entire world just how good they are.

There will always be a least one person who is better than you at something and that’s perfectly fine. Work on being the best version of yourself and be confident in that.


4 Be Sincere

I’ve been hearing a sort of mantra lately that seems to encourage people to be fake. Can you guess what that is? I’m almost certain you can.

In a world where we’re quietly (or sometimes loudly) told that we need to fake it till we make it, it can be hard to be sincere. We’re told that to be confident we need to pretend to be confident.

Or, at times we’re told that to attract clients, fame and fortune we need to pretend as though we have tons of clients, fame and fortune. Doing this in a sense can work but it can also lead to a big ego.

You start moving with the “hype” crowd and forget the friends that have supported you this far, or you get so caught up in the lies you live that you forget who you really are. Be careful of this.

When you are a sincere, authentic person, that draws real clients and real business because, as, yourself, you are the most comfortable and you have no need to worry or wonder if you’re saying the right things.

Be honest about who you are and where on your journey you are, and trust that your tribe will not only understand, they’ll also want to come along for the ride.


5 Don’t Dress Super Flashy

Being self-confident about who you are on the inside should also be reflected by how you dress on the outside. Think of some of the world’s most confident, successful people. How do they dress?

They wear clothing that both matches their personality and gives off a specific vibe.

If they are feeling good about themselves and ready to take on the day, then they probably wear a power suit and some really great shoes to reflect that.

You will not, however, see them dressing super flashy or over the top. I also doubt you’ll see them wearing a ring on every finger and multiple necklaces or watches.

As I said before confidence is quiet and understated while insecurities are loud and overwhelming. Your self-worth (and self-esteem) shouldn’t be wrapped up in your clothing.

So you don’t need to wear the most extravagant things in an effort to convince other people about your own level of self-confidence.


6 Listen  More Than You Speak

Have you ever spoken to someone who just went on and on and on about themselves? How did that make you feel about them?

A part of you probably thought they were arrogant and a part of you probably thought they were hopelessly insecure. Talking a lot more than you listen is often a sign of one of two things:

  • You think way too highly of yourself, or
  • You are nervous and/or trying to hide something

Growing up I also noticed that the people who spoke the most and tried to be in control of the conversation often had the most to hide.

So try to find a good balance. Call it a lesson in developing confident communication skills because a truly confident person can see through any attempts to mask your insecurities.


7 Surround Yourself With The Right People

Having an amazing group of people around you on a regular basis is a fantastic way to be self-confident without having an oversized ego. These are the kinds of people who will keep you accountable, grounded and be honest with you when you are “getting too big for your bridges”,

In my life, I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by such people at incredibly important points in my life. These people were, as I believe, sent by God to constantly remind me of who I was and who I was always meant to become

So make it a point to find these kinds of honest, supportive people if you don’t already have them in your life. Look for people who are honest and sincere but are by no means afraid to let you know what’s up.

With these people in your life to help keep your feet on the ground, you shouldn’t have to worry about become a cocky, arrogant person at all.


True Self-Confidence Means Knowing Your Strengths And Limitations

Ensuring that, on a long-term basis, you aren’t becoming an arrogant, cocky person means consistently knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are.

Although it’s great to know just how amazing you are on a regular basis, it’s also important to know what your “limitations” are as well so you don’t feel as though you are infallible.

Everyone has things that they can or cannot do (yet) and keeping these things in mind will ensure that you are truly self-confident without being cocky.

Wanna learn more about how to build true self-confidence without being cocky? Sign up to get your FREE Self Confidence Workbook below!


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