Getting divorced was one of the most terrifying things I have ever gone through in my entire life. It marked the end of my dream to live a fairytale life and it also marked the beginning of a confusing time in my life.
Divorces are never easy and there are some important life lessons that we can learn from them. I never thought in a million years that I’d be writing this post but I’m glad I did.
Below I’ll be getting a bit more personal and sharing with you some very important life lessons I learned from my divorce that you can apply to your lives as well.
“We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose to see it as a positive, to believe it’s for the best and use it to grow.”
Three Life Lessons I Learned From My Divorce
PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST ISN’T SELFISH
A divorce can drag you through the mud physically, emotionally and psychologically. One very important life lesson I learned was that putting myself first was not selfish.
The process of getting divorced was hard and frustrating and I honestly wished I’d never had to go through it but I did. For too long, I tried to look after everyone else’s needs but my own. It wasn’t fair to me at all.
Trying to project an air of happiness all the time is exhausting and it can drive a person to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Putting yourself first ensures that doesn’t happen.
I learned way too late what self-care actually meant and had to invest in this for a long time before I actually felt like myself at all.
Trust that the emotional toll a divorce can have on you is not a light one. You will have pent-up resentment against your spouse and anyone else who supported them.
This is especially true if the divorce was due to cheating (like mine was). Finding time to deal with those emotions so you can go from a place of broken to healing is an important part of the journey.
To put ourselves first is an important life lesson that we all should learn at some point in our life. It is, even more important, to focus on your well-being during times like this.
Had I not learned this life lesson and given myself time to heal, I wouldn’t have discovered my passion for helping others build better futures for themselves.
When you put yourself first, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care for others. It just means that you’re smart enough that if you don’t help yourself first, you can’t help them.
SOMETIMES A DIVORCE (OR THINGS NOT WORKING OUT) IS FOR THE BEST
This might sound like a controversial life lesson but it’s very true to me. I had to understand and accept that sometimes (or a lot of the times) things not working out is actually for your good.
In his song, Travis Greene tells us that all things are working for our good because God is intentional in every aspect of our lives. Those words never rang more true for me than when I went through my divorce.
Have you ever stopped to think about the possibility that you actually married the wrong person? Or you married the right person at the wrong time in your life?
One of these scenarios applied to me. I’ve been divorced for a few years, and have grown quite a bit. That being said, I am actually happy that things didn’t work out the way I intended for them to work out. They just weren’t meant to.
Sometimes we get so caught up in an idea that we spend our lives living in this nightmare reality that wasn’t meant for us in the first place. Important life lesson number 2 is that sometimes a man’s purpose in a woman’s life is to help her become a better person…. for another man.
My ex-husband and my relationship was a very toxic one. I spent most of my time crying or trying to commit suicide and no-one deserves to live like that.
Divorce wasn’t the first option I thought of either. I tried counselling and I really worked hard to forgive his transgressions but in the end, it just wasn’t enough.
Know that when the wrong people start leaving your life, the right ones will start coming in from all directions.
ALWAYS PROTECT YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
Gosh, darn it! This was one of the toughest life lessons I NEEDED to learn while going through my divorce. Our self-esteem can be a very fragile thing, especially if we had little, to begin with.
And boy did I have low self-esteem.
When I was going through a divorce, I became incredibly self-conscious about what I looked like. No way could you get me to go outside without my hair done or a hat on.
My self-esteem was at an all-time low. Ladies, gentlemen, everyone, protecting your self-esteem is so important I had to state it again just now. I had to work on loving that woman in the mirror who had been through so much yet still had the power to stand up.
It wasn’t an easy thing though because I became desperate for love and affection.
Looking for love in all the wrong places didn’t help either because it only served to sink me deeper into an emotional hell I couldn’t get out of.
God didn’t create us to live miserable lives, thinking the worst things about ourselves and our bodies. Naah, that’s all the devil’s doing. He wants us to believe that we are less than we really are so he can swoop in and save the day.
Important life lesson number 3 is that you need to be so proud of who you are that you don’t care how others see you. That is where I am in my life right now.
I’m so busy loving myself, and all my quirky features that I have no time to listen to what other people have to say about them.
DIVORCE SHIFTS YOUR PERSPECTIVE
The thing that really messes a lot of us up is that we have a specific picture of our lives. When things don’t work out the way we had hoped, it’s as if our lives are over.
But they aren’t.
My divorce opened my eyes to a brand new side of myself and a new purpose in my life. Learning that I am a badass, strong, beautiful woman with a divine purpose to boot, is an incredible feeling.
It sounds funny to say this but had I not gotten a divorce, I wouldn’t have learned these glorious life lessons and I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I can honestly say that I am thankful to my ex-husband for getting me where I am today, and I wish him the best in life.
God was able to use my mess and transform it into a powerful message. Don’t you think He can make a testimonial out of your test?
Just because the process hurts doesn’t mean that the results will not be incredibly beautiful!
If you enjoyed reading about the 3 important life lessons I learned from my divorce, you would enjoy reading more about ten powerful quotes that will lift you up when you’re feeling down.
I want to hear your opinion. Do you believe a divorce can be a good thing?
Please comment below so everyone can read what you have to say. Also if you have any questions feel free to ask me them in the comment section below. Like and share this post and be sure to join the community!
Until next time.
All my love