Do you know how to build self-esteem as an adult? As a coach, I’ve often looked back at my life and tried to figure out what things would have been like had I had some kind of coach to lead me through difficult transitions. Adulthood comes with a lot of important responsibilities and organizational skills that have the ability to determine your future plans and success. Starting your career on a high note, taking control of your finances, or moving to a new city all have strong potential to impact your confidence in ways you may not imagine.
With all of these new obligations and experiences to look forward to, here are 13 very powerful tactics to help you build self-esteem as an adult that will last.
“Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight int he eye.” Helen Keller
How to Build Self-Esteem That Lasts
THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH
Whether you are an awkward adult or a semi-awkward child, building self-esteem is very important. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that self-esteem and self-worth can be the difference between success and failure.
As a human being, the beliefs you have about yourself affect every area of your life. They affect the things you do, what you say and even the kind of career you end up choosing.
Your potential to achieve the things you want to lie in your self-esteem. If you suffer from low self-esteem you are less likely to try new things or set new goals because you don’t believe you can do it.
You don’t believe you have what it takes to make the life you dream about reality.
Self-worth has a lot to do with how much you value yourself.
In my previous post, I spoke about the number one reason many of us suffer from low self-worth. When you can’t see your value, no one else will be able to see it.
If you can’t view yourself as being worthy of love and respect, then you will never be able to receive it. Believing in yourself and valuing yourself are critical to your development as an adult.
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM?
Many adults have gotten really good at hiding the fact that they have low self-esteem. They often smile to hide tears and have become experts at wearing several masks.
This can make it hard for us to understand and identify the symptoms of low self-esteem. So how can you tell if someone you know needs help? Here are a few signs to look out for:
- Social withdrawals – they never want to be around other people, so they make continuous and consistent excuses to be alone.
- Long bouts of sadness – sufferers also tend to develop depression or experience long (and at times intense) periods where they are sad all the time.
- Inability to accept compliments – do you have a friend, coworker or family member who, no matter what they do or how amazing they are, can never accept a compliment? Or give you reasons why they aren’t “that person“? This could be a sign of low self-esteem or low self-worth.
- Reluctance to trust themselves – whenever they have an idea, sufferers tend to need the approval of others. They ask as many people as possible to validate their ideas before actually thinking about taking action.
- Eating disorders – this is a big sign that someone you know might be suffering from low self-esteem, especially if it is tied to their weight. They might starve themselves, eat then make themselves sick, or a plethora of other things. This is one of the most dangerous signs.
Having a low opinion of yourself is not modesty. It's self-destruction. Click To Tweet
13 WAYS TO BUILD SELF-ESTEEM AS AN ADULT:
IMPROVE YOUR RESUME & COVER LETTER
When we think of improving self-esteem, our resumes might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but it is important.
Our resumes are like a professional representation of who we are and are the first impression that an employer will get, and it can determine if you’re even considered for the job.
Businesses get hundreds of resumes per day, and it is vital that yours makes a statement.
To boost your self-esteem you want to use your resume to highlight the best parts of who you are. If you find yourself struggling to find impressive things to put on your resume, this is the perfect time to delve into personal development.
Make connections, invest in your education and increase your competence in specific, intentional areas that will make your resume (and your self-esteem) shine.
APPLY FOR JOBS & PAID INTERNSHIPS
One of the biggest struggles that adults often face is finding a good job. This can often affect their self-esteem because they feel like failures.
Applying for more jobs or paid internships than you think you need can actually be a good thing for your confidence. If you followed my resume tip, then landing the career of your dreams could only be an application away.
Though insecurity can cause you to apply for fewer jobs, put yourself out there and go for it. Step outside your comfort zone and reap the rewards.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR APPEARANCE
How we present ourselves on the outside is often a direct reflection of who we are and what we feel on the inside. So when you’re having a bad day or have been ill, people tend to notice right away and might even comment.
Taking care of yourself is important to building high self -esteem.
Take small steps such as taking care of your skin, styling your hair and wearing outfits that compliment your body type. You’ll be surprised by how much better you feel about your body and yourself.
TEACH SOMEONE SOMETHING YOU KNOW
Building high self-esteem comes with building competence and investing in personal development.
Is there something that you’re good at that you could teach someone else? Perhaps you are a talented basketball player or you are great at dancing.
Take some time to teach someone else the skills you already have. Not only will you help that person, but you’ll also improve your own skills and grow as an individual.
Not one drop of your self-worth depends on the acceptance of others. Click To Tweet
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES
Struggling with money and your finances, in general, can have a negative effect on your self-esteem. You might feel like a failure because you should have known and you should have taken precautions.
But it’s never too late to turn things around.
If you’re crumbling under mountains of student loans, finding a great payment option will help. Earnest offers amazing payment options to help you refinance your loans and still have money in the bank.
You could also commit to a budget and downsize. Getting rid of unnecessary clutter will keep you in the clear so you can focus on other areas of your life.
Being mindful can help you to overcome low self-esteem. You might not be aware of what mindfulness is, so here is a simple definition.
Mindfulness is a way for us to be aware of ourselves as we are in the present moment. This means that we simply observe our thoughts, feelings and experiences without reacting as we normally do.
By doing this we learn how to stopping judging ourselves harshly. Mindfulness helps us to change our perception of ourselves and that is an important piece to the positivity puzzle.
Once we can see ourselves as e truly are, the possibility of reaching our full potential dramatically increases.
If you are a young adult who isn’t afraid to take risks, you’re already off to a great start. Without the ability to take risks, it’s possible to get stuck in a rut and never really grow through a path for success.
Taking a risk involves putting yourself outside your comfort zone and becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Remember, not every chance you take will result in a positive outcome, but without going the extra mile to explore a possibility, you will never know your potential.
Every opportunity might not be the best one, but there will always be a lesson to learn and there is always a silver lining.
Forgiveness can be a difficult thing to practice when you have low self-esteem. By continuing to hold on to the feelings of resentment or bitterness we have towards, others only serve to hold us prisoner.
Forgive those who have done you wrong and give yourself a chance to improve your self-esteem.
A big part of loving and accepting ourselves is learning to love others through their flaws. Forgiveness is the first step.
I am not here to be average. I am here to be awesome. Click To Tweet
GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP
Did you know that running on little to no sleep massive;y impacts your self-esteem? Though we might know that sleep deprivation is bad for our health, most don’t think about esteem.
As an adult, as a person, there is nothing better than climbing into bed after a long, exhausting day.
If you’re going to bed early and find that you are staring at the ceiling until midnight, try using a natural supplement, like melatonin, to help your body get some quality rest.
As an additional option, try a relaxing remedies app to play soothing sounds, like ocean waves or falling rain, for calming background noise. The more rest you get, the more energized you’ll be throughout the day.
Getting a good night’s sleep helps to lower our stress levels, and the less stressed out we are, the less irritable we will be, and the better we actually feel about ourselves.
START A FITNESS ROUTINE
Exercise ensures that you practice self-care. Self-care is an important part of building confidence because you begin to realize just how amazing and deserving of love you are.
Without exercise, our bodies can also suffer in many different ways— physically, emotionally and mentally!
Creating a weekly workout schedule or signing up for a gym membership can be extremely beneficial throughout all stages of adulthood. When you workout, your endorphins are pumping and energy levels are higher, which contributes to a happier mood.
Taking care of your body by consistent exercise is a great way to not only look great but to feel great in your own skin.
EXPAND YOUR COMFORT ZONE
As an adult, expanding your comfort zone is important for both your professional and personal development. Though it might be terrifying at times, understand that your comfort must grow and expand in the same way that you do.
If you find that expanding your comfort zone a difficult task, try finding your zone of courage and go from there.
Making YouTube videos teaches me how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because by nature I can be shy in front of large audiences. But consistently taking baby steps you will realize just how amazing adulthood truly can be.
CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS CAREFULLY
Be aware of the people you choose to hang around with. There are some people that you will meet who, no matter what you do, will consistently try to put you down or drain your energy.
On the other hand, there are also people who will cheer you as you run your race and always provide positive, constructive criticism. These are the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with on a regular basis.
Building your self-esteem is important, and though you might be busy there are plenty of places to find and nurture these kinds of friendships.
Feed your self-esteem, not your ego. Click To Tweet
TAKE CONSISTENT ACTION
A powerful thought without powerful action to back it up will make absolutely no difference in your life. This also applies to building your self-esteem and your confidence.
A common misconception that many adults have is that confidence and self-esteem are merely feelings that come and go, but that’s not true.
The key to building self-worth is by taking consistent action instead of spending your time thinking about taking consistent action. Take small steps if you have to.
If your goal is to become Certified Marketing Executive, then start by taking one or two courses then build up from there. The more consistent action you take the closer you’ll get to your goal.
EMPOWER YOURSELF TO GROW AND LEARN
Though being an adult can be a confusing time for many of us, we can build lasting self-esteem.
Utilizing all the tools I spoke about above will help you transform your life in amazing ways. Self-esteem can be improved with consistent practice.
If you believe the way you feel about yourself is affecting your life, take a look at the list and realize that things can change.
Things can change for the better.
If you enjoyed reading about how to build self-esteem that lasts, you would enjoy reading more on the real reason you suffer from low self-esteem.
I want to hear your opinion. Which tip will you try?
Please comment below so everyone can read what you have to say. Also if you have any questions feel free to ask me them in the comment section below. Like and share this post and be sure to join the community!
Until next time.
All my love