10 Questions To Ask Before You Start Dating To Protect Your Heart

10 Questions To Ask Before You Start Dating To Protect Your Heart

When you are single, there is always a chance that you will end up dating in the nearby future. If you have just broken up with your partner, you might also feel the push to want to date. The questions for both kinds of persons is, are you really ready to date? Are you physically, emotionally and otherwise in that space to invite someone else into your life again? To help you decide, here are 10 questions to ask before you start dating. Good questions are hard to make but these are some pretty good ones.

“Never let a fool kiss you or let a kiss fool you.” Joey Adams

10 Questions To Ask Before You Start Dating


A good question to ask yourself, to begin with, is “am I ready?” Are you ready to be committed to someone else? Do you have the discipline and understanding to include someone else in your space?

If you have been single for an extended period of time, this might be a difficult transition. That’s why it is incredibly important to ask yourself and really answer the question before continuing on.



I placed this second on my list of 10 questions to ask before you start dating because this is one factor that can cause an issue in your next relationship.

If you think about your ex for an unhealthy and extended period of time then you might also find yourself doing so in your next relationship. This might be an indicator that you are still not over your ex at all.



You might have been hurt in your past relationships. These past hurts, if not properly dealt with, will affect every relationship that you chose to have in the future.

You need to get to the core of the issue and figure out what hurts you most and deal with it. Find some closure and consult a professional if needed.



What were the actions or factors that negatively affected your last relationship? Were there any personality issues on your part that were major causes of conflict?

Have you dealt with those things? If you haven’t then your prospective relationship could end up on the same tracks as your last.



Whenever you are dating or if and when you enter a relationship, there needs to be boundaries. A great question to ask yourself is what are those boundaries and how will you go about enforcing them.

For me, keeping myself sexually pure before marriage is a big deal for me and I will not date another person who thinks otherwise. Make a list of your boundaries and decide how and when to draw that line in the concrete.


Ask yourself, how far are you willing to go with someone while dating, then cut that in half. That should be your boundary. Click To Tweet



You need to decide. Where do you want to be in your relationship in the next five to ten years? Do you want to be someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend? Are your intentions to become someone’s husband or wife and have children?

It is imperative that you decide where you want to be and then figure out if the prospective person wants the same kinds of things you do.



Now this is a deep question to ask yourself and many people get squeamish at the thought of asking it but it is very important. There was a time in my life where I hated myself and how my body looked. I was also constantly trying to find a way to change something about it.

This affected any chances of me dating because I was always caught up in my own issues. Before you think of dating it would be a great idea to actually start loving yourself again.



This I find to be a little controversial but I decided to include it anyway. Although it might be an awkward question for any guy or girl to ask it is important.

If whenever you listen to love songs or breakup songs, you start to feel super weird or sad, then you might not be ready for dating.

I love a good breakup song because they help me to feel empowered and strong. When I had just broken up with my ex, however, Taylor Swift and Pink made me burst into tears all the dang time. I knew right then and there that I was in no way ready to date or to even begin to think of dating.


I cried a million tears because of the intro to a Taylor Swift Song. Yeah, I was no way ready to date. Click To Tweet



This might seem like a simple question but many people skip it and later regret it. Do you have any idea what kind of person do you want to be with? Have you even given it a thought? For any relationship to work the two persons need to work hard, but they also need to be compatible.

It makes no sense you date a “bad boy” just for the hack of it and then end up crushed. There is also no point in being with an aggressive person who has no control of their temper.

Figure out personality traits, occupations etc that you are not comfortable with and keep them in mind when dating.



Here’s the ultimate question in the 10 questions to ask before you start dating. Being single is a great experience. You get the chance to get to know yourself, explore the world and do a myriad of things you might not be able to do otherwise.

So at the end of the day, the real question is do you really want to be in a relationship? Or, are you just afraid of being alone? Sometimes it might get lonely and you might feel cold in the big bed you’re lying in.

At the end of the day, though, I would rather be happy alone than miserable in a new relationship.

There you have it – The 10 questions to ask before you start dating. If you like this post be sure to check out this post on how to have a successful relationship or these tips for dealing with relationships and breakups.

Also, let me know. Are you recently single or have you been single for a long time? Do you think you’re ready to start dating again? I love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts so please comment down below. Please also like and share this post. I’d really appreciate your support on all my social media.

Until next time. Peace, love and prayers.

10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Dating To Protect Your Heart
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  1. Blush Ri
    February 22, 2018 / 8:43 AM

    Great read. I love the part about loving yourself first

  2. February 22, 2018 / 8:50 AM

    This is seriously exactly what I needed to hear. This is good so that you can know not to waste your time or rush into any relationships you are not ready for. Thanks so much!

    • February 22, 2018 / 1:37 PM

      You are so welcome. It is incredibly important that we not rush ourselves in any way when it comes to dating

  3. February 22, 2018 / 8:58 AM

    These are definitely smart questions but for me, these questions did not apply. When I started “dating” my now husband, I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually dated someone or had a serious relationship, so I wasn’t “ruined” by some traumatic past experience, hahaha! Typically when I go out for something, I know what I want and why I want it!

    • February 22, 2018 / 1:10 PM

      That’s great that you knew what you wanted and went after it. So many people just dive into dating and have no clue what they even want.

  4. February 22, 2018 / 11:46 AM

    These are all great to think about when your looking to get back into the dating scene. I’m just thankful to not have to worry about it.

  5. February 22, 2018 / 1:12 PM

    I love your post. A lot of times we rush into dating someone without thinking. Thank you so much for the reminders.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:59 AM

      You’re welcome. Rushing into something is not good

  6. February 22, 2018 / 3:50 PM

    I totally agree with you when it comes to living yourself first! Great article!

  7. February 22, 2018 / 6:24 PM

    These are all great questions. the most important question is “Do I Truly Want To Be In a Relationship”, there are times that you need to take some time between a break up and going into a new relationship.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:55 AM

      I agree. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship

  8. February 22, 2018 / 8:54 PM

    I think these are wonderful questions to ask! I am not in the dating world anymore, but they remind of of my personal thoughts when I first started dating my husband.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:53 AM

      Oh that is so great. It’s good to hear from a married person’s perspective

  9. February 22, 2018 / 10:53 PM

    Thank you for your post. It’s so important that at every new journey we plan to start we take previous steps to really understand our why, and since marrying is such a great step in everybody’s lives your questions are a great start for those who are in the dating arena.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:51 AM

      Thank you so much. I do hope that more people take the time to ask themselves these questions before dating or marrying as you stated.

  10. February 22, 2018 / 11:01 PM

    All of these are great advice! But the one about if you really want to be in a relationship is so true. You have to be willing to take time and focus away from something in order to put it towards the relationship if you want it to last so that’s something to think about.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:50 AM

      Yes I agree. You have to be willing to sacrifice something if you want a relationship

  11. February 22, 2018 / 11:50 PM

    What a cute post! I think these are all good questions to ask yourself before dating someone 😉

  12. February 23, 2018 / 2:04 AM

    These are such important questions to ask yourself! It is so easy to fall back into something because you are lonely when in reality you aren’t ready. Great post!

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:42 AM

      Thank you so much. Yes so many people do that and regret it later on

  13. February 23, 2018 / 2:31 AM

    These are a set of wonderful questions to be conscious before entering into an intimate relationship. It allows you to be clear and draws boundaries to assure a healthy relationship with room to blossom. Thanks so much for sharing this!

  14. February 23, 2018 / 2:36 AM

    This post is on point! Will share it with my girlfriend. She is dating again and the guy also comes from a broken relationship.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:40 AM

      Oh thank you so much. I wish her the best in the dating world

  15. February 23, 2018 / 2:55 AM

    Each of those questions sound just about right. To have a serious long lasting relationship, having certain clarity and settlement with self is really required. Great post!

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:39 AM

      Thank you so much. I legit asked myself these same questions 😊

  16. Ann Snook-Moreau
    February 23, 2018 / 6:47 AM

    The self-esteem/self-love part is so true. I had a period where I felt terrible about myself and made bad decisions with guys . . . but then I got some self-confidence and found my husband!

  17. February 23, 2018 / 7:13 AM

    This is such a great post – it is definitely worth making sure you are ready to make the commitment of dating.

    • February 23, 2018 / 9:13 AM

      Thank you. It definitely is important because you want to be sure of yourself before your next relationship

  18. February 23, 2018 / 8:45 AM

    I have been out of the dating world for so long, I honestly have no reflexes left and would not know what to do! Being ready might be really hard to know though! xx corinne

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:48 PM

      Me too. I so understand thst being ready takes a while for many

  19. Ray Ruzzo
    February 23, 2018 / 11:33 AM

    Thank you for this. Dating is hard. I’m in the beginnings of something new right now and still feel confused.

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:47 PM

      It can be confusing at times. Maybe you could take a break and do a bit of reflecting

  20. Rosey
    February 23, 2018 / 11:47 AM

    Boundaries matter. If you find yourself willing to break them, that could be a big red flag that you’re dating the wrong person.

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:46 PM

      I agree. The right person will not push you past your boundaries

  21. February 23, 2018 / 2:22 PM

    These are very good questions to ask yourself. You can’t start dating someone when you’re still hurt from past relationships. That’s just going to ruin what good you have with the person that you’re with. The best question really is, if you’re ready to start dating again.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:23 PM

      Ye I completely agree. You first need to know if you are truly ready

  22. Cristina Leau
    February 23, 2018 / 4:55 PM

    Those are some great questions. I have to admit that I married my first love. I was all about being single and enjoy my freedom until I was 21 years old when I found or better said he found me. I still don’t understand what made me go over my grow old with cats principle but he made me fall in love with him and now we are happily married.

    • February 23, 2018 / 6:18 PM

      Awww that is such a beautiful story. I am happy that he found you and he is a lucky man

  23. February 23, 2018 / 10:35 PM

    These are sensitive questions truly to ask before considering a relationship. I can’t imagine carelessly being involved with someone without thinking about it. Questions like these help avoid heartbreak and complications and in relationships.

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:45 PM

      That is so true. They really prevent you from potentially hurting yourself and someone else

  24. February 23, 2018 / 10:40 PM

    Some of these questions remind me of when I was dating my husband. I pretty much answered them myself through observation. Sometimes it’s not in what they say, but what they do 🙂

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:45 PM

      Yes it is so true. Actions speak way louder than words

  25. Joanna
    February 23, 2018 / 10:49 PM

    These are great questions to ask yourself before dating, especially if you just ended a long lasting relationship. I guess it’s easier if you had a short relationship that didn’t work out rather than a long one.

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:44 PM

      It can be easier I think but these questions work either way

  26. February 23, 2018 / 11:13 PM

    These are great questions to ask yourself. I have been single for quite some time, and I will stay single until I truly want to be in a relationship

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:44 PM

      It is great that you have decided that and thay you’re honest about it

  27. Kiwi
    February 24, 2018 / 12:15 AM

    Some of these are some heavy hitting questions. But these questions are neccessary so you dont waste your or someone elses time.

  28. Ruth I.
    February 24, 2018 / 2:10 AM

    These questions make sense. I think this will be really helpful to know each other more.

  29. February 24, 2018 / 5:14 AM

    This is such a practical and honest post. Love it!

  30. February 24, 2018 / 6:57 AM

    These are great. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  31. Cindy Gordon
    February 24, 2018 / 7:02 AM

    These are definitely amazing questions to ask yourself. Not only for you but for the person you may potentially sate.

  32. February 24, 2018 / 7:34 AM

    These are some really great questions! The one which I liked the most has to be the first. “Am I ready?”, I think I am but in a way think I still want to enjoy been single a bit more.

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:41 PM

      It’s great that you want to enjoy being single. Make the most of the time you have

  33. February 24, 2018 / 8:03 AM

    Some great points and questions raised here – so important to love yourself (well at least like) before accepting others will like/love you too! I’m happily in a relationship but hope these will be useful for those thinking about starting dating.

  34. February 24, 2018 / 10:00 AM

    These are great questions to ask before you start dating especially if you are re-entering the dating game. I agree that setting boundaries are a good idea. I enjoy all ten but I like what type of person am I looking for, this requires some thought.

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:40 PM

      Thank you. I do think it is super important to understand that answer because it can make or break things for you

  35. February 24, 2018 / 12:13 PM

    Very good points you bring up, and questions I have asked myself in the dating process! Self-reflecting and setting your intentions is so important when it comes to dating.

    • February 24, 2018 / 4:39 PM

      Self reflection really sets the tone for your whole dating life

  36. Emma Steve
    February 24, 2018 / 2:19 PM

    A lot of times we rush into dating someone without thinking. I love this post as a reminder to all as what you should think before into a relationship.

  37. February 24, 2018 / 5:01 PM

    Question 2 is so important. One needs to be completely certain that they are no longer holding thoughts of an ex. This can cause a lot of issues in new relationships where comparisons start happening. Just too much can go wrong…speaking from personal experience.

    • March 3, 2018 / 8:35 PM

      I feel you on. Carrying baggage into new relationships is recipe for disaster

  38. February 24, 2018 / 11:46 PM

    These are some really good questions. Many of us never think about these when bouncing from one relationship to another, thinking to ourselves, “why can’t it ever work”. 🙂

  39. February 25, 2018 / 12:09 AM

    This post was timely because I’ve been divorced since 2012 and had a bad breakup with the love of my life in 2016. Recently, I’ve considered putting myself out there again, but when it comes right down to it, I can’t do it! I’m definitely not over my last relationship and the couple of times that I have gone out on dates, I’ve ended up comparing them to him. I’m not a spring chicken anymore, so dating is way different at this age than it was at 20, but I hope that someday, I’ll be ready again. I don’t really want to be a wife again, but I would relish nothing more than growing old with somebody.

    • March 3, 2018 / 8:33 PM

      Take your time. There is no need to rush yourself at all. It will come

  40. February 25, 2018 / 12:19 AM

    Loved this and your decision to keep yourself pure. You want your man to love you for you. Not your body.

  41. February 25, 2018 / 12:36 AM

    Girl, you are speaking to my heart with this one! I was at a workshop last week and I was saying how aware I have been becoming more aware of what I value in relationships, especially one with a potential partner. I think this is excellent advice and it really resonates with me because my dating history has been disastrous! but I now looking at dating as a bit of a numbers game and you are absolutely right you have to change your mindset completely and know what you want before you go out there. When I know what I value it easier to spot those things in others instead of thinking of all the things I don’t want. Thank You!

    • March 3, 2018 / 8:32 PM

      Wow. I loved hearing your story. I hope you have a better time dating this time around

  42. February 25, 2018 / 2:06 AM

    These are excellent questions to ask yourself. I’ve been married 25 years, and I don’t regret picking him! Find s godly man, and be that godly woman that matches him.

  43. February 25, 2018 / 2:32 AM

    I’m married but my friend could use these advices. She’s a single mother of 3, overwhelmed, in a non exclusive relationship and make horrible decisions. I’m sharing this with her.

  44. Chris Wong
    February 25, 2018 / 2:55 AM

    I like this relationship advice. Dating someone for the wrong reasons can end up being bad as well. I also feel like dating in 2018 is so hard in general.

  45. February 25, 2018 / 3:34 AM

    I actually just met someone amazing, but I dated for a long time before that, these are great questions to ask yourself for sure.

  46. February 25, 2018 / 5:12 AM

    It all starts with being curious. ..single can use these questions like a checklist.

  47. February 25, 2018 / 6:10 AM

    Interesting. I just wrote an article that deals with breaking up and you touched squarely on the opposite side, going back in. Good stuff!

  48. February 25, 2018 / 6:33 AM

    So agree about the body part. People tend to create obstacles for themself focusing on that part too much. It is important to take care about yourself, but without paranoia.

    • March 3, 2018 / 8:28 PM

      It is true. We need to love ourselves above it all

  49. February 25, 2018 / 10:17 AM

    Amazing checklist that hit me to the core 🙂 I’m a single mom, and these are helpful questions to ask myself before starting a new relationship again. A big check to loving oneself first. Great informative post, thank you for sharing!

  50. February 25, 2018 / 11:12 AM

    Thanks for sharing, I`m really glad to be out of the dating game, I always felt some kind of desperation and a fear of being alone that I never wanted to ask questions less I turn the would be date away.
    Looking back, I feel it was the insecurity of being young, as I got older, i made do list and was not ready to settle for less.Luckly, my husband meets my list and we are very happily married

    • March 3, 2018 / 8:27 PM

      Yes there is so much going on in young adults and dating reflects those insecurities

  51. February 25, 2018 / 11:35 AM

    There are definitely many questions we should ask ourselves before getting involved closely with someone new in our life. I love these questions because they’re important for a relationship to be healthy and last!

  52. February 25, 2018 / 12:30 PM

    Way better to have answers before you realize it is too late. It only shows that you are taking it seriously as it will benefit both of you. An excellent idea you share, thank you.

  53. February 25, 2018 / 12:30 PM

    You presented some great questions to ask for anyone getting back into dating. My favorite one is, “DO i REALLY WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP? That is an important question because as you have stated, being single does have its rewards and sometimes we might not be ready to give it all up.

    • March 3, 2018 / 8:26 PM

      That is so true. I think you’ll know when you want to invite someone into your space

  54. February 25, 2018 / 12:49 PM

    These are such great questions. I need to send these to my sister. She has been looking for a guy for quite awhile!

  55. February 25, 2018 / 1:30 PM

    You raise really good questions to ask. I wonder what percentage of females asks those important questions before putting their foot in the water.

  56. Bobbi
    February 25, 2018 / 1:37 PM

    This is so important! Asking these questions of yourself first before diving into dating makes sure that you are definitely ready to put yourself out there into a relationship.

  57. Sheree
    February 25, 2018 / 3:34 PM

    This is a great post. I am already married but I would def have a similar talk with my daughter when she is ready to date.

  58. February 25, 2018 / 4:24 PM

    Getting back into dating can be very daunting, especially if you are coming from a long term relationship. These are some great tips/questions to ask oneself before jumping fully in!


  59. February 25, 2018 / 5:37 PM

    These are awesome questions. Dating someone should always be 100% so its great to just stop and ask your self some question. This is a wonderful post, thanks for sharing!

  60. February 25, 2018 / 10:13 PM

    All of these, are valid questions. I have found thought of dating again exhausting. Haven’t gotten to the question part yet. I’m in love with my bed.

  61. February 25, 2018 / 10:34 PM

    Great tips to ask before entering into another headache.. I will ask myself if I’m ready enough to face another break up! If ever!

    • March 2, 2018 / 2:58 PM

      Lol @ headache and I appreciate that you will use these questions in the future

  62. February 25, 2018 / 10:36 PM

    These questions I’d ask myself for sure in case, I’d break up with my fiancé. Enjoyed in reading your post 😀

  63. February 25, 2018 / 11:15 PM

    Love your tips about pre dating thinking!! I thnik the most important is to think our past and not make the same mistakes. So I keep in mind the sentence “What things didn’t work in my last relationship?”

    • March 2, 2018 / 2:57 PM

      Thank you so much. It is so great that you do that!!

  64. Indrani
    February 25, 2018 / 11:45 PM

    Good questionnaire. It is better to be clear before forging new relationships.

  65. February 26, 2018 / 12:37 AM

    These are questions that we should all pay attention to, thank you for sharing it without a doubt a great help.

  66. February 26, 2018 / 12:53 AM

    Well said! It is so easy to start dating again before you are ready. If everyone followed this advice, there’ll be a lot less broken hearts out there!

  67. Floby Villaralvo
    February 26, 2018 / 2:18 AM

    Dating is a whole evolving part of life for so many people, just guard your heart and take whatever destiny wants you to go.

  68. Ally Jones
    February 26, 2018 / 2:34 AM

    These are such great questions! Saving this one for my little sister 🙂

  69. Sheleen Johnson
    February 26, 2018 / 7:31 AM

    I’m not sure what happened, my first attempt at commenting didn’t seem to go through. 🙁 I totally relate to these questions and I have been asking myself about number 9 particularly! My dating life has been a disaster and I think you a completely right with asking ourselves these questions. It’s important for us to know what our values are before we start asking to find the right partner.Great blog and in my arsenal for my next dating encounter. Although I’m on a break from that for a bit.

    • March 2, 2018 / 2:42 PM

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment again. I am happy to hear that these are valid questions and you would love to try them out. 🙂

  70. Sydni
    February 26, 2018 / 9:50 AM

    This is a really good list that you’ve compiled. Thanks for sharing it!

  71. February 26, 2018 / 10:19 AM

    So many things to consider before you start dating and the most important one is loving yourself first. I think these questions are spot on and are perfect for people who are currently single but would love to look for the right person to be with.

    • March 2, 2018 / 2:36 PM

      Thank you so much. I have had quite a while to think about it

  72. February 26, 2018 / 11:31 AM

    Great post so good for those who are starting a new relationship. It is so true you need to love yourself first.

  73. February 26, 2018 / 12:50 PM

    These are great questions to ask when you have been in and out of relationships. I think that the most important questions are: are you ready to be back in the game and so you want to be in a relationship? We definitely want to take the time to think about these questions before we jump back in.

    • March 2, 2018 / 2:27 PM

      Yes it is very important that we understand what we want before entering the dating world

  74. Blair villanueva
    February 26, 2018 / 1:36 PM

    Thanks for sharing these tips. My eleventh question is, do i have time to date one?
    That is my reality.

  75. Emma Steve
    February 26, 2018 / 1:48 PM

    Great read. I love the part about loving yourself first. It’s good to hear from a married person’s perspective.

  76. February 26, 2018 / 11:04 PM

    Great advice! I think it’s always a good idea to enter into a new relationship with your eyes wide open and our expectations out in the open.

    • March 2, 2018 / 10:19 AM

      Yes. We need to be very aware before we even start new relationships. This prevents confusion and hurt feelings.

  77. Becca Wilson
    February 26, 2018 / 11:42 PM

    I remember when I was dating and it seemed so hard. I wish I would have had these tips way back then.

  78. February 27, 2018 / 1:58 AM

    I think it is so important to be in a good spot before dating again. Don’t waste another person’s time or your own.

    • March 1, 2018 / 4:17 PM

      Exactly. Know exactly what your intentions are beforehand.

  79. Khushboo
    February 27, 2018 / 7:57 AM

    Those are some really helpful and informative tips.. I agree with each and every question you covered..thanks for sharing this with us.

  80. February 27, 2018 / 11:27 AM

    This is so great. So many people don’t think before jumping into relationships!

  81. Deb Dutta
    February 28, 2018 / 1:57 PM

    I agree with you completely – although I met my husband when I went on my 2nd date with him. We took a leap of faith and have been happily married 5+ years 🙂

    • March 1, 2018 / 3:47 PM

      That is wow!! Congratulations on your marriage 🙂

  82. Bobbi
    March 1, 2018 / 12:44 AM

    These are definitely important questions to ask. So many times people get into a new relationship before they are over the old one.

    • March 1, 2018 / 8:05 AM

      Yes and it is so sad because it ends up hurting them alot

  83. Ivie
    March 1, 2018 / 2:30 AM

    These are very important questions that we all need to ask ourselves.

  84. March 1, 2018 / 12:32 PM

    Great set of question. Starting a relationship always a sensitive issue and you are the one who is going to deal with it.Asking you those question helps to make a better picture.

  85. March 2, 2018 / 10:11 PM

    This is a great list! I think in general, you should never look for another person to make you happy. You should always first be happy on your own.

    • March 3, 2018 / 8:20 PM

      Yes I agree that true happiness is not from external things

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